How to Win Friends - Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is the go-to classic book on human behavior and relationships. Here are the three most important points:

If you want to be interesting, be interested.
Winning people over is all about making them feel good.
Investing in relationships is paramount for success.

We do recommend to buy and read the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie in case you haven't.

Dale Breckenridge Carnegie November 24, 1888 – November 1, 1955) was an American writer and lecturer, and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), Lincoln the Unknown (1932), and several other books.

Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking:

#The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
#Show respect for the other man’s opinions
#If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
#Begin in a friendly way
#Get the other person sating “yes, yes” immediately
#Let the other man do a great deal of the talking
#Let the other man feed that the idea is his
#Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
#Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
#Appeal to the nobler motives
#Dramatize you ideas
#Throw down a challenge

Nine ways to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment:

#Begin with praise and honest appreciation
#Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
#Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
#Let the other man save his face
#Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in you #approbation and lavish in your praise.”
#Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
#Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
#Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

In order to win friends and People, follow these principles:

Principle #1: Don’t criticize, condemn or complain
Principle #2: Make people feel important with curiosity
Principle #3: Appeal to the other person’s desires
Principle #4: Become genuinely interested in other people
Principle #5: Genuinely smile as per dale carnegie
Principle #6: Remember people’s names
Principle #7: Be a good listener by encouraging others to talk about themselves
Principle #8: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
Principle #9: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely
Principle #10: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
Principle #11: Never say, “You’re wrong”
Principle #12: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
Principle #13: Begin in a friendly way to influence peoples
Principle #14: Get the other person saying “yes, yes” as quickly as possible
Principle #15: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
Principle #16: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
Principle #17: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
Principle #18: Be sympathetic toward the other person’s ideas and desires
Principle #19: Appeal to the nobler motives- How to Win Friends and Influence People
Principle #20: Dramatize your ideas
Principle #21: Throw down a challenge
Principle #22: How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument
Principle #23: Welcome the disagreement
Principle #24: Admit your mistakes upfront
Principle #25: Control your bossiness to win friends
Principle #26: Consider someone’s ego
Principle #27: Be liberal with praise
Principle #28: Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully
Principle #29: Thank your opponents to win friends & influence peoples
Principle #30: Get on the same page